Everybody Hurts I
May 10, 2007

Rejection is tough, doubtlessly. And it affects you like a good squeeze in the balls... for eternity.

So, I made two case studies on the most commonly used rejection lines and their lack of significance, let alone legitimacy.

My objective in carrying out the studies is to help ease the pain of those coping with rejection. They would, at least, show how you’re not alone and at most, make you feel glad that you were rejected. I do also hope that they could trigger the opposite gender to use some other rejection lines and be more original in doing so.

Every confession should come with the knowledge that it will ruin the friendship should things don’t go as planned. Imagine the number of friendships people could save with proper rejection.

I don’t know much but I do sincerely hope sharing my thoughts could help.

But to compile all of them into one entry would be overkill so I will just get the ball rolling with the first case study.

Case Study 1 – He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother

Jinggo is a 22 year old college student and he’s as ordinary as any of his peers could ever be. In fact, he’s too ordinary that he makes the average Joe look like everybody in KISS combined into one.

Standing at 5’7 with an average BMI, Jinggo is often seen in a ‘vintage’ rock band t-shirt, faded jeans, Jack Purcells and a homemade Levi’s messenger bag he bought in Central Market. And let’s not forget the two or three books that he would tend to hold in his hand though he could just put them in the bag. All in the spirit of making himself look less boring.

Always seen walking with his good friends around campus, and being the very average person that he is, Jinggo is fairly accepted by his female peers. Even so, he acts differently in front of different girls; more outspoken and jovial in front of the fairly decent ones and ultra shy in front of the super hot ones. Earth shrinks into the boot of a Mini Cooper when he’s in front of cute girls.

But it all changed one day after he was assigned into the same group with Lina, an 18 year old first year student, whom to his eyes was the most beautiful creature to ever set foot on the planet. They were in a group of three with the other member being Suzy, who is actually a guy despite his name. It does show how unthreatened Jinggo was by his presence in the group, evidently.

I’m bad at describing girls but I suppose it suffices to say that Lina is not the chest bearing, thong exposing, pole dancing, dirty talking Carmen Electra type, she’s the sweet smiling, angelic voicing, decent dressing, feminine touching, Mandy Moore type.


Through time, their friendship bloomed into a very close one. They stayed up at the library until the wee hours together. Had lunch and dinner dates at the school cafeteria together; leaving Jinggo’s friends in awe every single time. Exchanged text message up to on average four times both ways per day. Caught a movie every now and then and went through the classic ‘my ex’ talk by the lake, which had Jinggo making up a story about his ex-girlfriend who left him cause he chose to serve in Vietnam, 35 years ago.

It was as inevitable as Mawi’s AF3 triumph; Jinggo fell in love with Lina. And he wasn’t his usual self anymore. One sleepless night after another, Jinggo could only doze off for an hour or two before the alarm goes off for him to rush to class. It didn’t matter. As his entrance into the lecture hall would turn the room empty, leaving Lina in the midst of the silence, waving a tiny hello with her gentle fingers.

One fine morning, after another two hour sleep, Jinggo decided to come clean with Lina... just let it all out and get over with it. And soon comes the one on one, under the tree talk.

"Lina, kita ni baru je dua tiga bulan berkawan kan? Tapi rasa macam dah bertahun kita kenal."

"Ye Jinggo. Lina pun rasa gitu gak."

"Sebenarnya, Jinggo nak bagitau something kat Lina. Lama dah Jinggo simpan terbuku je dalam hati ni. Jinggo harap Lina dapat faham."

"Eh, kenapa ni Jinggo? Macam serius je? Cakap je la... Lina sedia mendengar."

"Jinggo... Jinggo... dah lama jatuh hati kat Lina. Dan Jinggo harap kita boleh jadi lebih dari kawan."


"Jinggo faham kalau Lina tak sudi. Jinggo juga tak memaksa. Siapalah Jinggo ni."

"Bukan begitu Jinggo. Tapi memang selama ni Lina dah anggap Jinggo macam abang Lina sendiri... sukar untuk Lina terima Jinggo sebagai teman hidup."


The "but you’ve been like a brother to me" line is like the Happy Birthday of songs.

Used so many times, through generations, one should already be prepared for its emergence should the girl be any younger, even by a day. Most female friends of mine are, by default, inclined to call anyone older even by a sneeze ‘bang’ or ‘kak’.

But that’s beside the point. Putting ourselves in Jinggo’s shoes and taking the words literally, it just doesn’t add up.

So what if you’ve been seeing me as an elder brother to you? You can always quit it... can’t you? Come on, it’s no harder than quitting smoking and porn... eh Judd?

What do elder brothers actually do with their younger, female siblings? You’ve guessed it right, they fight with them... all the time. They quarrel... all the time. I doubt Jinggo even had a mild banter with Lina.

Now after saying such thing to Jinggo, would Lina still have Jinggo as her friend? I, for one, doubt it as Lina had already planted, into Jinggo’s head the idea of him being her elder brother. It would only be stranger than Dennis Rodman for them to continue being friends.

I see it as Lina’s lost. She could’ve had a really good upperclassmen friend who could help or guide he go through the coming years in college. All she needed to do was device a rejection line that doesn’t involve brothers.


I would love to read your second case study.

bercakap dari pengalaman?

cloudde: aku pun tak tau aku larat nak tulih ke tak ni haha.

pie: yea pie, masa skolah dulu org panggil aku jinggo. bila nak update /crab?

Fuck Serih.... This story is too riveting that it has to be true.. and I didn't get the cue till the last paragraph...hhahahhah... abang.. abang niz.. jgn larr bersedih abang...hahhahahahah

boleh buat kisah ala2 dunia baru... but then reality show

wow asrif..me loike this piece..

i guess the reason yg i bagi like "i dah anggap u mcm abg" tu mmg nyakitkan hati mana2 lelaki eh..

pasni i wont use it ever again..


alip: sial alip, jahat siut... sian abg niz. wahahaha. story is fiction. nonetheless, it does resemble a few true ones. happened just down the hall beb... haha.

rays: don't man. btw, tlg lempang man utk aku... please...

anon: uih hai... selalu guna ayat tu? sure hot nih... japgi ada kawan aku sorang, jeghi nama dia. kalau dia masuk sini nanti dia ayat baeek punya.

eh tak baik tau ajar i bg fake hope kat org..hehehe..

nway..i'm hoping for ur 2nd case study..

take ur time..
i'll read it..

serih aku rasa kau cam hot stuff gak. pernah tak kau guna "i anggap u ni cam adik perempuan i" utk reject perempuan?

Serih takde genes nak reject perempuan. No such thing exists for a guy called Pierre....i mean Asrif. Kalau ada perempuan baru sebut 'hi' je pun dia dah abih angau dah. Hola mi amor, mellow mode, and all that jazz. He's so cute bila pipi mexican dia blush. And then dia sengih pervert macam masa dia ambil gambar portrait kat Indiana.

anon: fair point. won't be writing the 2nd one any soon though. byk keje... as if. hehe...

pie: tu ko kena tanya cloudde la pie. ayat2 dia... biar nak ngorat ke nak rejek ke. peh... mmg menyengat. biasa ayat dia gini la... "bukan apa, fai..." aih aku takleh sambung. mmg unpredictable... mcm awan, nama dia. wahahaha...

cloudde: aku letih ni beb baru balik kerja, tak larat nak counter ko. refer je ah apa aku tulih atas ni.


siot je alip.

good piece. pandai pakai metaphor ah asrip

Asrif, I would like to ask you a favor. Since you're very talented in writing, would you mind review a couple of my poems? I have two actually, titled "Mulutku tidak sepetah jariku menulis" and "Tidak". A very talented friend of mine also has a poem titled "Rambling Balderdash" that he wrote 2 o'clock in the morning. We would both like your professional opinions. Shall I send em through email or I can just post them somewhere and link it here? I am very moved to do the latter but hey it's your call.

Best crit wins.

ikram: thanks man.

tamice: aduh punya la panjang dia fire. killing two birds with one stone.

wahahaha... aku tgh guna comp kiosk ni, tgh course. tak larat beb nak reply panjang2. youtube videos kira ke tak ni? haha..

Hahaha nice entry Serih!..can't wait for the 2nd one =p

gilak ahhhh serip...

papa jahat...(ada lagu rap title ni doh)

Yes, Asrif. This is indeed a very nice entry. I couldnt agree more with teh.

teh: terima kasih. tapi takde la ayat 'don't be too cute...' ... boley pakai kat ali je tu.

pengyu: wa tau la lu gempak tulis cerita jiwang... lagi2 cinta kampus mcm ni... cinta cek mek molek lap muto abe bekeng... warghahaha...

kopi: aduh... jgn kat sini beb...

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Photography by Azalia Suhaimi

  • Asrif, b. 1983
  • Subang Jaya, Malaysia
  • asrifomar[@]gmail[.]com
Published Travels
Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 Malaysia License.