Everybody Hurts II
May 19, 2007

The following is the second part of my study on rejection lines. The first part is in the post before the previous one. Thank you for the overwhelming response.

Oh and though I'm more than capable of going through the anecdote in the first part, do allow me to clarify that all of the stories in this study are fictional.

Case Study 2 – You're Just Too Good To Be True

"And this young gentleman right here is another one of our execs, Karim. Karim, meet Diana, our new staff."

What should be another uninspiring Monday morning was no more as Karim turned his head from the computer screen over to the side of his cube.

There she stood. Pony-tailed and clad in a traditional pink kurung with a file in between her crossed hands, Diana had Karim in awe of her mesmerizing beauty, and immaculate smile. Still typing on the PC, the jaw dropping encounter had his mouth open for the next ten seconds before En Daud brought him back to reality.

"Aih Karim, lama menguap? OK Diana let me introduce you to the others."

Slowly, his head swerved like a CCTV towards Diana's direction, back to his computer screen... before he fell off his chair.

AwangNeo81 says: i love you? ko nak mampos ke apa?
KarimBekeng says: sori2 weh aku tertaip tadi. ada awek baru masuk opis aku dok menaip sambil tergamam tengok dia. aduh lawa gila bai... aku rasa aku jatuh cinta sudah...
AwangNeo81 says: haha... piira mabok... ko muka tak siap takyah berangan la...
KarimBekeng says: takleh wang, cinta pandang pertama ni. aku mesti cuba...

And that was the beginning of Karim's journey. A journey he'd never thought of going through. A journey into the depths of the ocean to grasp that one majestic pearl that is a place in Diana's heart.

Days go by as Karim learns Diana's day at work. By then, Diana's daily wheres and whens are all stored in Karim's head.

Come 830am and Karim would sneak into the pantry to find Diana preparing her morning coffee, pretending to prepare his own.

"Morning Diana. Buat kopi ke?"

"Morning Karim. Ha'ah... Diana kena minum kopi la in the morning. Otherwise, nanti mengantuk je whole day."

"Ehehe... sama la kita. Karim pun tetiap pagi buat kopi. Ehehe..."

As he throws some tea bags into his mug.

Come lunchtime and Karim would go down the elevator 5 minutes earlier to ‘accidentally' bump into Diana on her way to lunch.

"Eh, Diana... lunch sorang je ke?"

"Hi Karim. Sorang je la, Diana baru kat sini... takde kawan la. Takde sapa sudi nak teman kita... nak buat cemana."

"Aih... kebetulan sangat la tu. Karim pun nak pegi lunch gak nih. Member Karim semua pegi outstation ni. Jom la kita pegi sekali."

"Yeay... OK jom!"

Suavely, Karim walks proudly beside Diana, passing his friends at the lobby; leaving them green with envy.

Time flies and before long, Karim has become Diana's closest friend at the office. Their mornings are spent stirring coffee together. Their afternoons are spent at their favorite lunch stops together (with Karim subtly bragging to his friends without fail). Some of their evenings and weekends are spent together at the movies and such.

And most of them are off Karim's tab... in his voyage of impressing Diana. Hundreds in meals, gifts, tickets and fuel were spent. But nothing ever seemed too much for Karim. If it carves that gorgeous smile on Diana's face, then it's worth any amount.

By then, Karim was already pretty confident that his place in her heart is within reach. He can feel it. And so comes the evening of truth, atop Bukit Damansara, overlooking KL city.

"Lawa kan view KL ni Karim?"

"Couldn't come close to a pinch of the beauty of your smile dear." said Karim to himself.

(Translated to English... I dare not write what he actually said.)

"Er... Diana..."


"I cannot play my game anymore."

(He meant "I couldn't play this game anymore.")

"Ha? Kenapa? PlayStation kat rumah Karim rosak ke?"

"Eh tak tak... susah lak nak cakap omputih. Karim nak bagitau sesuatu kat Diana ni."

"Oooh... bagitau la... apa dia?"

"Karim... Karim... sukakan Diana. Dan kalau boleh, Karim nak Diana mengisi ruang kosong di dalam hati Karim ni... untuk selama-lamanya."

"Karim... Diana faham. Tapi... tapi..."

"Tapi apa lagi Diana? Apa lagi halangan yang membuatkan Diana masih bertapi-tapi lagi dengan Karim?"

"Tapi... Karim terlalu baik untuk Diana."


I don't quite know how to analyze this case to be honest.

Simply put, unless Karim was in the Mat Rempit jumping onto North Pole expedition, he must've already known that being ‘too nice' wasn't the real reason. Diana was just not interested in him. And doesn't want Karim to be a part of her life.

However, what if Karim was one of the Mat Rempit jumpers? He would've been too thick to get what Diana is actually saying. And come to believe that being too nice would backfire. Before you know it, Karim would start treating women harshly and may well end up being a lonely soul for the rest of his life.

So ladies, you surely can do much better than ‘you're too nice for me', can't you?

Even if you have no other option, please make sure the guy wasn't in the North Pole Mat Rempit jumping for no reason expedition.


ada part 3 tak?
aku rasa hasil kajian kau boleh dibuat pedoman hidup



Just so you know, Tamica. I'm reading this while playing with my Vaseline. Yeargh, baby! Yeargh!

Haha! Aduh snoopy. "Terlalu baik" ni basically means that you've already fallen into the "friendship pool" and too bad that once you're in, it's almost as close to impossible to ever get out.

Karim bad ass apa... Selamba jek dia panggil member dia 'wang'. Pastu selamba plak tu throw teabags dia in his mug kat pantry. Bagi aku hardcore aaa tu.

aku rasa, patut si karim jawab camni tau...

i know i am angelic nice, but i dont mind dating slut, ya know.

pie: wahaha... aku hanya mampu tergamam.

keano: aku rasa mmg aku silap letak messi position laing tadi. babi sungguh. lepas2 ni aku lebih berjaga2.

anon: kawai? kawai pianos aku tau la.

cloudde: friendship pool... a very welcoming yet scary term brotha. close to impossible to get out is indeed, an understatement. scariest thing is that u'll never know that u're already innit. talk about tricky tales.

mx: c'mon man... no reason for karim to stoop to that level. how was the tourney?

anyway folks i was talking to my good friend reza and i think he made some pretty good remarks.

Reza-: that's pretty mean man
Reza-: u r too nice
Reza-: might be better off saying u r too jerk or something
Reza-: u r stupid
Reza-: or maybe a middle finger wont hurt
Reza-: u know
Reza-: u r too nice
Reza-: it's much worse off than a middle finger
asrifomar: hahahahahaahahha
asrifomar: u have a very2 valid point
Reza-: if i got that
Reza-: it's like a kick at the crotch u know
Reza-: u r too nice
Reza-: it's like my dog ate my hw
asrifomar: can i post what u just said on my comment box?
asrifomar: i think theyre golden

Hohoho adakah awangneo21 yang suruh si karim tu confess? Apa kata ko ketuk sikit kepala awang neo21 tu...

By the way... laki pun sama jugak la.. "yoou are too beautiful to be my gf", "It's not you.. it's me" (ok this is break up punya ayat).. "errr.. i like you a lot but i think we're better off as friends"...

Ekceli sama jer laki ke pompuan. Rejection still is rejection.


'You are too beautiful to be my gf'? Maybe I should get out more because I have seriously never heard this one coming out from a guy. That's just basically saying 'I am bicurious and I think I am a homo'.

Laki sama ngan perempuan. To an extent in the field. But guys are more straight forward. They want something and it's obvious. Girls play a lot of games and have a lot of shields. They have the anti-slut defense ( they want it but dont want to appear easy ), they play the 'i have a boyfriend' excuse,play nice guys for a fool, validation hungry and etc etc.

Nevertheless, that's still a valid point. Rejection is still a rejection. It hurts but it doesnt kill. It makes you stronger.

haha.ni mesti jadi kat office ko nih lately?takpe serih,aku paham perasaan ko.

apples and oranges... apples and oranges... cliched but still...

maz: kan aku dah bagitau, semua ni fictional do... aku letak kopi bebetul, bukan uncang teh ngahaha...

i bet the girl dreaded the day the guy would tell her that he likes her... if not she could leach off him some more...

AwangNeo81 tuh memang sweet talker. aku respect.

The "errmm-but-you're-too-nice-for-me" reason is overused, nowadays. what's wrong with being completely honest? she could've give it straight to his face:
i) "you're not good enough for me"
ii) "are you kidding? i can't imagine my boyfriend who looks exactly like Ebbie Yus"
iii) "i'm waiting for someone better to come along. you have no chance dude.."
iv) "your wallet is not thick enough"

ok, how abt this..

girl: we've been going out for a while now. what's our status
boy: we're friends
girl: just friends?
boy: just friends
girl: but then why did u treat me like ur special girlfriend?
boy: bcos ur too nice

what say u?


girl: we've been going out for a while now. what's our status
-(okay, we've had our fun now. it's time to make it official-ish. want to go to the next level?)

boy: we're friends
case 1 - great! now you've ruined it. no more thrill of the chase. its your fault that we have to be friends now and thanks, things will get awkward...
case 2 - i think i can do better. you are really a friend. i cant see it happening. you are my 'hired gun' or 'pivot'
case 3 - huh?you sure aint my enemy. you're a friend.

girl: just friends?
-wtf are you talking about? whats going on here? you dont want me anymore?

boy: just friends
-thats exactly what i'm saying, girl. chill...

girl: but then why did u treat me like ur special girlfriend?
-literally as above

boy: bcos ur too nice
case 1- you're too simple. you're not much of a challenge, at least not anymore.
case 2- I need your company. You mean more to me as a friend than a girlfriend.
case 3- I am just not attracted to you. I cant see you the way you see me. If I were to lie to you, I would only drag this further down and betray the trust that exists between us. I am just really a nice person and I know sometimes, my kindness intoxicates. I am sorry.

Note : Case 1 and 2, basically say that the guy is an a-hole. Case 3,things like this happen. There are some really clueless guys out there who are really just too nice and don't know the boundaries of being nice and giving signs. Either way, if someone can't see you for who you are...pack up and leave. Better waste your time on someone else.

*hired gun* = a hot girl who accompanies a guy to show the crowd that he's not desperate, he's not lonely and he's capable of making hot acquaintances.

*pivot* = based on the theory that if someone is not good enough for you, he/she might have a friend that would just do the trick. Who knows what future might bring, right?

Cloudde Daddy

gila lah
macam forum discuss relationship case study plak haha

how about a sophisticated-out-of-context excuse like 'our (zodiac) signs show we're not compatible' or "I'm saving myself for the right one"

if you really want her, I guess those excuses require a little bit more coaxing kot....

but anyway

serip, jgn lupa hantar file. I'm borrowing my brother's bass nak tembak tembak sikit

wow. byk benda aku belajar dari comments yg ada kat sini. keep it coming serih. kau boleh jadi pakar motivasi pasal relationship.

anon: this is a very2 subjective matter and treating one as a 'special girlfriend' could run the gamut from a daily hello to daily bouquet of roses. so from my point of view, treating one as a 'special girlfriend' because she is too nice is already wrong just by the sound of it. hence the boy's reasoning is out of proportions. nevertheless, u couldn't really blame him as people perceive 'special treatment' differently so what may be ordinary to the boy could be extraordinary to the girl. i struggle to understand such a vague concept myself.

ikram: bloody gmail won't allow me to send em. nnt aku cuba lagi...

pie: u'll see me jumping onto the north pole for no reason before i become a motivational speaker. lagipun, bukan kita dah ada dr fazley kita sendiri ke? ngahahaha...

i wanna comment but it's gonna be long. so tok jadi. haha.

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Photography by Azalia Suhaimi

  • Asrif, b. 1983
  • Subang Jaya, Malaysia
  • asrifomar[@]gmail[.]com
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