Wayang Kita
May 03, 2007

Malay movies nowadays are really confusing.

You could be told that it’s a love story and end up sleeping in bright light for three nights due to the movie’s frightening nature. Watch Cinta 100 Ela if you don’t believe me. Rashid Sidek dancing shirtless with grease all over his body amidst traditional dancers in the middle of a river? Move over Ju-On... and Freddy Krueger and Hannibal Lecter for that matter.

You could be told that it’s a comedy and end up soaked in your own tears as you weep in despair thinking of the nation’s humor acceptance level. Watch the Anak Mami/Mami Jarum/Papa Jahat and whatnot saga perhaps? They make my super bland and dry taste of humor look like twinkling diamonds on Miss Universe’s tiara.

You could be told that it’s a horror movie and end up utterly bemused in your quest of figuring out who you were supposed to be scared of. No, I’m super serious. You tell me who’s scarier, the ghost in Jangan Pandang Belakang or the people who allowed it to be shown in cinemas? MENSA members could easily have their scores reduced by half for watching that movie.

You could be told that it’s an action packed film and end up feeling all touched and affected and shit. Just look at the Mat Rempits in REMP-IT... so very sweet of them to share their girls among themselves. Such brotherhood in friendships is really rare nowadays. I want to be one of them. Insert smiley face.

You could be told that it’s a heavy drama and end up learning that if there’s anything heavy about the movie, it’s the headache that it brings to its audience. Now I don’t know how to elaborate more on this one but I spent a good large bottle of minyak kapak for each Sembilu movie I watch. How I got about watching the movies in the first place? I'll let you know after I figure out the afternoon I spent watching Nona with Salahx.

You could be told that it’s a sci-fi... nah, I won’t go there.

I’ll stop being Negative Nancy for now.

Heck, it’s not all negative you know. Grab a copy of ‘Pontianak, Pondan dan ...’ from your nearest video store. It is, by far, the only modern Malay movie that lives up to its expectation. Good straightforward high quality humor enriched with awesome cinematography and superb casting. Those who had watched it would concur.



Comments:

"MENSA members could easily have their scores reduced by half for watching that movie"

kalau orang bukan mensa cam aku ni jadi apa lak? retarded terus ke?
 

you could have been working for NewsWeek or Times with that kind of writing, too bad you took the petronas loan bait....
 

Nice piece,son. Learn to bob your head and you're || this close to be the next Jay Leno.
 

"..abg kulooooppp..."

tambah satu lagi.. any movies with pierre in it, oh btw, Jgn Pdg Blkg is written by pierre..no wonder..
 

pie: aku pun bukan mensa member, tak jadi apa lepas tu. tapi jaga2 la takut jadi mcm dia ni - badwool.blogspot.com

anon: big T the sex machine? i'm only worthy of writing a front page story about 'Pencabul SMS' for harian metro buddy. cheap asshats.

cloudde: conan bro. the man. conestone in the conezone. aduh rindu sial conan argh.

pengyu: lu punya modal wa sikit pun tak gentar ah bai. kamon abe, u can do better. ini ke abe yg menjadi jagoan litar lumba seantero tumpat sehingga menjadi pujaan semua cek mek di situ?
 

gua tau modal gua dah outdated, nak wat cane beb.. lu takde product cosmetic ke motivational camp ke...
takpe, nnt ada gua bitau..
 

kau peminat pierre andre ke serih?
 

Pengyu: Haha, kalau Serih sendiri ckp modal tu dah outdated, jangan caya bebeh. Dah kene kat dia sendiri, kuat aaa ngelat dia. kalau kau nak modal2 panas, look me up. you'll be amazed, i kid you not.

Serih: Kau sendiri cakap 'every man for himself'. It is what it is, snoop.
 

pengyu: tau pun outdated. aku dah book mlm ahad 9-11pm, tmn desa. praktis utk demo.

pie: sapa pierre andre? aku tak kenal. diorang ni saja buat kecoh kat sini.

cloudde: unpredictable sungguh ko ni beb... mcm awan.
 

piere andre bukan mamat pelakon tu ke? aku rasa kau mesti pernah nampak kat tv: http://mstar.com.my/cms/storage/images/com.tms.cms.image.Image_3a02b763-c0a85062-1eafe130-5f28a4f6/1/pierre.jpg
 

opss, link tak jadi link
 

unfortunately apa kau tulis ni mmg betul. Tapi, i have hopes for yasmin ahmad-and the like punya films. Then again, sekarang ni dia sorg je pun yg buat filem yg isinya tk contradict dengan the idea of the film.

Apa lagi - tkkan nak jamming je, buat la filem plak. Muka hensem, tulis skrip boleh, kameraman ramai, judd bleh pegang boom, .. heh.
 

Betul lah Asrif hun. Apa kata you cuba teater atau filem. Muka you dah la hensem macam Pierre Andre. Pandai berkata-kata pulak tu. Aww, hola mi amor.

Such a waste of talent to focus on only mellow phone calls.
 

told ya we'd win it at COMS

\m/
 

pie: haha, tak kenal aa pie. tak penah nampak lak dia kat tv. aku tgk af je kat tv.

syu: if there's anything more scarce than good local movie makers, it's gotta be the number of funny jokes by judd and syah, combined. and on judd holding the boom? buat roti boom boleh la.

tamica: amboi you kemain lagi ye guna modal mellow phone call. i baru jek sikit kat facebook dah gini. waaaaaaaaaahahahahahaha...

manloq: red nose lovin' rag. can't wait for next season though; with the takeover and shit. but seriously gotta rip on chelski for still messing up after spending 10 billion on players.
 

"In a derby match, if you see a player flying into a 50-50 challenge that's a little bit late, that happens, that's football.

"But that ball had long gone and I thought it was disgusting, it was cowardice, it was poor. It's disgraceful."

- Jamie Redknapp over Michael Ball's stamp on C. Ronaldo
 

Quoting someone else to prove your point is cowardice too. Just say it mofo.
 

aww... i have my own rag troll now.

redknapp is only second to lawro among twat 'pundits' for all i know.

on a serious note (uuu...), i do not condone ball's action yet i do not feel sorry for pretty christine.

plus, prove me keane's challenge on haaland is any milder. here's a utube link if u aren't a wikipedia zealot glory hunter: http://youtube.com/watch?v=jzEGkmY-Vio

albeit whatever nonsense haaland threw at him during his leeds days, grudge or no grudge, it was still a retarded challenge.

anon: u have a pretty good micropenis sensor. well said.
 

montoque
 

I nearly puked my brains out watching Cinta 100 Ela. Why I bothered pun tatau. Blueekkk.. Dah la takde chemistry langsung, main joget2 hindustan plak tuh.


P/S: Thanks for droppin by me page.

yeah, you have some good stuff goin on here... will come back for more, if you don't mind :)
 

haha cinta 100 ela is a classic.

the whole movie is like a compilation of roadkill videos.
 

Wei korang nie mmg bleh jadik cikgu english lah, aku kagum giler....aku nie kan org kampung....enjoy betul aku baca....nak start adaptasi ker essay aku lah pass nie....smoga dapat mengembangkan ilmu di dada...terima kasih saudaras....
 

if you are really serious, do visit inggeris.blogspot.com.

my good friend sani made the site to share his knowledge on the english language.
 

wei!! Jangan Pandang Belakang meme scary okay!!! I watched thru my pashmina sebab takut gilo. Pahtu seminggu tok kelik lewat male. Gi Pan pon dok.
 

Dear Author www.asrif.org !
It do not agree
 

I want to quote your post in my blog. It can?
And you et an account on Twitter?
 

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Photography by Azalia Suhaimi

About
  • Asrif, b. 1983
  • Subang Jaya, Malaysia
  • asrifomar[@]gmail[.]com
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