Asrif.org: Honk If You're Horny

Honk If You're Horny

September 03, 2007

You’re driving on the road after a long day at work which involved you being screamed at by your boss, handling a pain in the ass project and witnessing that cute girl from HR walking hand in hand with a guy ugly enough, squirrels die just by looking at him.

Fair enough. Everybody has his own reasonable share of bad days. And you’re already on your journey home, reaching the end of your dreadful day. All you’re asking for is to land yourself on the sofa and enjoy a round of back to back Fergie videos before hitting the sack.

So the last thing you need is a car swiftly overtaking you, crossing your path, to go to the other lane, without flicking on his/her signals.

Do you..

Express your anger by thrusting your hand onto the horn and leave it there for 10 seconds until he’s temporarily deaf or
Within the seclusion of your own car, yell to the top of your lungs how he’s a thick imbecile whom you wish would trip from a 300-ft cliff and fall into a sea of monkey vomit.. and make yourself temporarily deaf

Since those two are the only options, at least in my book, I put a few criterions into consideration before choosing to throw either myself or the asshat into temporary deafness.

First off is obviously his car. Option 1 is he’s driving a totally unmodified, crispy clean car with a plate number issued no longer than two years ago. Option 2 if he’s driving a ‘Galantized’ Wira with a spoiler convenient enough for one to hang the laundry of two rugby teams, jockstraps included and an exhaust pipe huge enough to house the rugby players while they wait for their laundry to dry.

Coming in close at number two is the driver himself. Option 1 if he’s got his hair side-parted, greased to perfection and shirt buttoned up to the chin, with both hands on the steering wheel. No wait, I’ll do Option 1 then Option 2, with the windows down. Option 2 only if he looks like Scarface.

Thirdly is none other than the stickers on the car. I would above all do nothing if it says ‘Official Mafia Car’ or the likes. They are indeed, members of the Mafia, aren’t they? Don’t wanna get our wee wees chopped off, do we? Nevertheless, if there’s a glimpse of those ‘Honk If You're Horny’, ‘Pwincezz on Board’, ‘Bad Gurl Inside’, ‘Manchester United Football Club’ signs anywhere on the car, an ear-deafening honk will be on its way.

Thought you said honk if you’re horny?

Life is full of split-second decisions and there’s one that I make daily.. to honk or not to honk.

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Comments:

tak dok contoh lain lagi ko??? manchester united football club jah hok boleh buat mung sakit hati.... bakpo bukey liverfool fc ko.. gapo gapo hok lain la.. tapi kalau keto tu ada stiker liverfool fc walaupun aku hok buat salah aku maki jugok dio..... lebih lebih lagi kalau dia pakai jersey fowler....

# posted by

roy keane : 12:03 AM

BeeP! beEp! beEp! BeEP! beEp! BeEp!
hOnK! hOnK! hOnK! HoNk! hoNK! HoNK!
BeeP! beEp! beEp! BeEP! beEp! BeEp!
hOnK! hOnK! hOnK! HoNk! hoNK! HoNK!
BeeP! beEp! beEp! BeEP! beEp! BeEp!
hOnK! hOnK! hOnK! HoNk! hoNK! HoNK!
Man, did i just sounded sexually aroused? Oh it must be that damn coke i consumed from the fridge this morning....
My daddy might have slipped some viagra in it which initially was meant for my mum...whoopsie!
Yeah-i'm sober now..dun wurry~ =P

# posted by

sUcK3RLuRVe : 8:15 AM

There's something wrong here...

I've had enough sins and bad karma to last me two trips to hell thus my alter ego is telling me to be a nice person...or shut up. But there's definitely something wrong here...

Remember that one episode of friends where Chandler lost a bet to Joey...it's quite similar,bro.

hint: smells like badol, but it's quite different.

# posted by

Cloudde : 12:57 PM

hey guys, take care~~~
(takde kena mengena)

# posted by

judd : 11:29 PM

roy keane: berat mung. gih go kart ari minggu ni bwahahaha..

anem: tenang2.. baru masuk masuk opis dah tak keruan nihh..

cloudde: still, the chandler comeback was top notch man.

judd: behold the return of Gendut Remaja. aku dah overhaul team aku baekkkkkkkkkk punya..

# posted by

Asrif : 3:32 PM

i lurve ur articlezz boyz!
muahhxxxs

# posted by

pengyu : 5:02 AM

Tulisan Asrif memang penuh pengajaran dan moral yang boleh kita teladani. Teruskan usaha anda Asrif!

# posted by

pie : 12:32 AM

selamat pose bro..jgn sia2 kan peluang.sama2 kita ingatkan sesama muslim.

# posted by

azri fickry : 9:50 PM

pengyu: bawak bertenang ese

pie: aku tak berniat utk memberi pendidikan moral pie, sekadar berkongsi cerita & pendapat. in fact, aku tak pernah pun masuk kelas pendidikan moral apatah lagi utk mengajar matapelajaran tersebut.

jeghi: slamat bro. nampak tak swp n micah dua produk academy city yang berjaya score goal aritu?

# posted by

Asrif : 5:38 PM

Micah tuh tunggu mase je nak blah gi chelsea .. buat ape die nak main kat club sampah jam city

anyways ... if I encounter a Karamjit Singh wannabe on the road .. I'll just flip him/her off .. Enough of these Drift King posers who think their Wiras are just as good as Evos. WTF.

To me these pricks are just like Rempits on 4 wheels, better to be in the shower waxing their balls than on the road.

# posted by

Bart : 1:21 PM

sampah2 pon kalah gak manure hahahah

# posted by

Anonymous : 3:43 PM

all i wish for is an unazman day. just one unazman day.

# posted by

reza : 10:09 AM

wtf badol.

rays, pray harder.

# posted by

Asrif : 2:50 PM

City 1 Manure 0

Ajim CTID

# posted by

Anonymous : 2:57 PM

bai,
asal aku nak jual wah wah tu? pakai aa, kasi sound lain sket. jangan purist sgt... derek trucks pun pakai efek jugak dalam album recording.

-Muddy Confluence's ex-drummah

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:59 PM

ajim, caya sama lu.

salahx: wah teman tu yob. wah mike ada lagi ngan teman. ate mentara teman ade due unit ni, teman jual le satu.. yg mike punye tu teman lenjan dulu ye. tapi teman lately idak le gune sgt efek2 ni.. nak pebetoi licks n chops etc.

# posted by

Asrif : 7:49 PM