February 08, 2008

It’s what most socially healthy men like myself do on a weekday break. I spent the day sorting out old documents at home; which have been piling up and collecting dust industriously, just like any Kevin Federline CD would.

Hidden in between the pile of junk however, was a piece of gem -- my primary school report books; which I managed to pull out with the strength of two and a half herculeses.

Flipping through the books, ornately filled with vowel-less grades (though I did get an ‘O’ for ‘Blood type’), I couldn’t help from noticing the many ambitions that I’ve had through the years.

Among the many, none actually came close to what I’m actually doing now. While my business card simply reads ‘Analyst’ under my name, a handful of my friends had problems spelling it correctly. Their misspellings ranged from the cute ANAL-yst to the more adorable, analrapist.

The primary schools that I went to, SRKs Kampung Tunku and Sri Subang Jaya God bless them, were nothing out of the ordinary. The orientations of the schools weren’t geared to any particular discipline of study, language or culture. In other words, we were free to practice, or preach (if need be) any school of thoughts. Hence the options were pretty much open-ended as far as filling out the Ambition field goes.

For the first few years, all I did was blatantly copying whatever my friends wrote in their books: doctor, lawyer, engineer, lecturer, accountant, policeman, fireman, Lion-O of the Thundercats.

Apart from the last one, which came from the heart, I didn’t really want to become any of the above. Well, maybe a policeman as I was afraid of them back then; as was the case with my friends. Becoming a policeman was ergo, a way of making my friends afraid of me thus following my commands. Failingly, I did not realize that by the time I’m old enough to actually become a policeman, my friends would’ve overcame their fear of policemen.

I had the slightest idea what the job scopes of the other professions were. Figuring out what doctors, firemen, lawyers and Lion-O had to do wasn’t that bewildering as there were certain attires that I could relate them to. On the other hand, I understood engineers, lecturers and accountants back then as much as I understand quantum mechanics today.

Though I wanted my friends to know that I couldn’t care less about my ambitions, the voice inside of me was screaming the most bizarre of occupations to outdo them. It wasn’t until the later years of primary school that I was really into that notion however.

I became more adventurous as I progressed to standard four when I had ‘cartoonist’ as my number one choice. I’ve always enjoyed drawing cartoons. Though many can’t really differentiate my drawings to that of a five year old’s, I liked the idea of portraying reality, in graphical stories, through the two simple mediums of pen and paper. I had so many cartoonists to look up to those days and my pocket money went to the fortnightly published Gila-Gila and later on, Ujang. Cartoonists portrayed a thoroughly balanced, ideal life through my eyes. They spend their days doing what they seem to enjoy most and are good at; which would make a couch potato as the ideal job for me by today’s standard.

As my interest in music didn’t really creep in until I was entering secondary school, I didn’t have the chance to put Mick Jagger as my preferred ambition. Nevertheless, I was already exposed, and fell deeply in love with the world’s game, football. And the last ambition form of my primary school report book reads, ‘footballer’.

Footballers are modern day heroes. Just as my aspiration to become Lion-O, I wanted to also become Gambit of the X-Men, Michaelangelo of the Ninja Turtles and Son Goku. But I was old enough to appreciate the fact that I had a slim chance of ever becoming a card-flipping Cajun, let alone a teenage mutant ninja turtle. Therefore a career in football seemed to be a fair shot.

It was amidst the 1994 World Cup USA that I was really gung-ho in becoming a footballer. Seeing the heroics of Romario and Bebeto bombing goals into the net and the joy they brought to the cheering crowd was for one, inspiring. It was all natural for an eleven year old to dream about living a glorious life, even to such a magnitude. My days were filled dreaming about scoring the last minute goal for my school, Manchester City and Malaysia; all of which being cup finals no less.

But gone were the days. The things that I dream of nowadays are less outlandish, so to speak. It didn’t take me long to realize that I actually have a better chance at becoming a teenage mutant ninja turtle before I become a proper footballer.

Nowadays, I don't even know what to answer should I'm ever given the ambition question. I'll just answer 'Mawi' I guess.


aku dulu pernah nak jadi postman.

you never fail to be a superstar in Dunia Baru.

dari standard one sampai six,doctor.tanpa menyedari yang aku takut darah.ceh..
doktor falsafah je la yang boleh kot.. long as you can be yourself...nothing else matters i guess..


Asrif. Aku respek kau. Tulisan kau memang boleh reach semua orang. Aku rasa semua orang boleh relate dengan apa ko tulis ni. Pasal semua orang ada cita-cita.

btw, teringat lawak kau - "Soalan: Ape citer? Jawapan: Mana la aku tau! aku bukan pengarah filem."

Nice bro.

i've been a silent reader of your blog for quite some time.. and your posts are hilarious.. wondering why r u still single eh? hehe..

keep on writing ..!! =)

those who know him does not wonder why he's single...

i know him. and i wonder why he is still single. comel, gebu, funny, boleh tahan gentleman.. nyeh2...

jgnlah kau menangig abang rehhhh...

i must say...a very funny entry...

dah boleh jadi journalist ah ko ni..

serih's still single coz he's an Ass heh...thus the name Ass-rif

serih single pasal dia ada satu reket je... so takleh nak main double...

apa2 pun tahniah man city menang ari tu..

mine masa darjah 6 were :

1) ahli kajibumi
2) ahli kajicuaca
3) ahli kaji angkasa

didnt know where those come from.
Nampaknya tamak sekali nak mengkaji seluruh alam.

One thing remains true - that i am an environmentalist at heart!

Thanks ANAL-rif for a nostalgic entry.

Asrif...macam bangsat kay kelakar what u tulis sme.

Ye ke..? You gak yang suka lawak I. :)

Kawan² I semua cakap I tak funny. :(

gebu ??

asrif == gebu.

wa punye imaginasi running amok ...
.. one mississippi,
.. two mississippi,
.. three mississippi
.. wahahahahah


siut, POLICE laa pulak.

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Photography by Azalia Suhaimi

  • Asrif, b. 1983
  • Subang Jaya, Malaysia
  • asrifomar[@]gmail[.]com
Published Travels
Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 Malaysia License.