February 21, 2008

Jealousy, as they say, is like a Steven Seagal movie. It sucks.

And there’s no one I’m more envious of in the whole wide world than kids -- even more than Seagal himself for actually making money off his dreadful movies.

Oh no girls, don’t go hating me just yet (yes, all three of you in the whole wide world who haven’t already). I’m alright with kids. I’m just jealous of those rascals that’s all.

It’s hard for me to not groan whenever I see kids have fun. Their eyes glow as they run away from each other, laughing their hearts out like there’s no tomorrow. The only time they’ll close their eyes is when they’re laughing so hard they have to grasp their bellies. Before you know it, they’ll be back running and jumping and skipping and sliding their way; signaling no loss of energy. Even if they ever fall down, a simple wipe off the knees does the trick and they’re good to go.

The whole sight illustrates the negligible amount of worries that they have to bear.

Their joy, though heartwarming, does make me feel forlorn realizing that I was once one of those worriless rugrats who had no deadlines to meet or bills to settle. While I’m still a big laugher nowadays, cracking jokes every now and then (albeit their hilarity, or lack thereof), through time, I don’t get to laugh as much. As I got to know the world better, I had more to worry about. The more I know, the more I had to swallow.

You know the one thing that takes the fun away from your college life, or your whole academic years for that matter. Exams, lots of it. It wasn’t really the studying or physically working on the exams that was excruciating. It was the worries that you had waiting for the result that really suck the joy out of life.

I walk pass by a playground on my way to class back in the day. And there’ll be these kids who only need to go to three hours of school everyday, playing there all the time. So whenever I’m walking back after a bad exam, I can’t refrain myself from taking their elation on the playground as a mockery of my life. It was as if every one of their hardy har-hars was for every answer I got wrongly in the exam. The agonizing pain of the bliss that they found from my despair is unbearable.

My depression, only to be shrugged off with a deep sigh, until I reach my dorm room to send the obligatory ‘bad day at the office’ e-mail to my professor. No harm vying for a C- from a D, would it?

Kids face minimal issues when it comes to socializing. Take a snoop at Ikea’s children play-pen whenever you’re there. They get along with each other so well, without having to even know each other’s names. Parents go there, register their kids and tell them to ‘go play with their friends’. There seems to be this unspoken understanding between parents worldwide that their kids are friends.

Kid A goes in, looks up the slide, Kid B slides down and before mommy could toss the first random Ikea product into her trolley, they’re both going down the slide face-first, with Kid B holding on to Kid A’s legs.

Us adults on the other hand, we think too much when we mingle. Even my good friend Judd, whom I see as the quintessence of an ultimate socialite, needs to take a few steps before making new acquaintances. He 1) goes to the bar 2) grabs some ice 3) throws it on the floor and 4) squishes them before 5) saying,

“Now that the ice is broken, can I buy you a drink honey?”

That, in itself is already a 5-step action... of which he only does to guys however.

So where does that leave me, a neophyte of the socializing world barely knowing even its most fundamental aspects. Thus Judd, I can only beg you, my good man, to lead me to the zenith, the paramount of socializing prowess... where you now stand stalwartly.

Well, maybe once you actually quit picking up guys and start doing it with women instead, that is. You can begin by putting down that Thunder Down Under poster on your bedroom wall, mate.


how come you miss being a kid asrif? you still act like one what.

;) hi.

wahahahhaha.nice nice.i think the "Now that the ice is broken" quote will work for you ass-rif.might as well give it a try to your silent reader eh??..hhahaha.

Ass, you're in the presence of greatness all this while, my good friend. Admit yourself a lucky bastard for knowing me, the Who's Who of Malaysian Tatlers.
Let me show you how's it really done someday, you can learn from the MASTER of MINGLING!

By the way, check out my magazine

Hanna: Well well... if it isn't my favorite Wildcat dropping by for one of her occasional hellos. So this me acting like a kid business -- you're the first one to ever say such thing you know. :)

Maz: Jangan memain do... lu dah la ada pot-luck last minute baru sound gua.

Judd: Master of Mingling? Sure you aren't the Master of Ling Ling, the Sexual Harassment Panda?

well written. well put.

aku pun dok selalu pikiaq lagu tu. awat la depa ni seronok sangat. pasai apa aku tak boleh jadi gitu? rasa macam hidup dah tua, tapi otak dok budak2 lagi kot.

dulu kecik nak jadi tua, la dah tua padan muka.

Not only u’re envy with kiddos bcoz they’re one worry-less creature nor having the mingling ability serupa Dewa Judd (u ought to work on the 5 steps pick up line though. Sounds lame + scary) :)

U’re also jealous with ‘em bcoz they usually draw attention (indeed one heck of a babe(s) magnet, cuddling ‘em like a teddy bear) more than u do, kan Asrif yg gebu kan?

You wish you can just turn back time, and live at Michael Jackson’s Neverland where children never grow up (only hoping not to be molested though!).


I kid you not.

count me in. I miss being a kid too. no crazy boss, no car instalment, no boyfriend issues, no phone bills..

Yop: Kecik dulu berangan nak bawak kereta woi, tapi la ni dah banyak sangat bawak rasa cam nak ada drebar la pulak -- tak campoq maki hamun sakit hati drive atas jalan lagi tu. Hang tau la dak?

Hanim: I'm not envious of them for anything else than what I've written la dol. But going back to what you were saying, I did write about using kids as babe magnets. Worked wonders for my friends but all I got was a cleaner lady; who was sweet enough nevertheless.

Azah: Your shades punya case, remind me whenever nanti alright.


hahaha thunder down under..!

pagi tadi aku nampak budak2 tadika bermain2 di playground kat depan sekolah diorang. dengan tak semena-mena, aku terasa cam nak jadi budak2.

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Photography by Azalia Suhaimi

  • Asrif, b. 1983
  • Subang Jaya, Malaysia
  • asrifomar[@]gmail[.]com
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