Sudin II
December 12, 2008

Sudin I can be read here.

"It’s right in front of the bank. The Steak Shack! How many times do I have to tell you?! What planet are you from?! Zantar?!"

My voice could be heard from across the mall. Tears of sweat fall down my temple as I walk around rather anxiously, frowning in anger with my phone in one hand and my waist on the other.

Friends. If you think you’ve seen the worst of them, you haven’t seen mine. Time, date, location, reservation... they want it all ready with minimal to zero effort. And me, I just can’t stand witnessing plans falling apart right in front of my eyes. I don’t want to be like them; refusing to make decisions only in fear of being blamed for any screw ups. I want to make things happen.

Well I lied there.

More often than not, I’m with them when it comes to planning for events. The sheer joy of being a backbencher who adds no value to the fruition of the event yet savor the same amount of enjoyment, while holding the liberty to blame the organizer should things don’t go as planned, is something no amount of money could ever buy.

But not this time...

For it is, Lisa’s birthday. The girl who had me cutting my own finger when she entered the room in the middle of Art class. I wasn’t even in the slightest of pains though blood started dripping off my fingers as she introduced herself to the class. Little that I know, it was the beginning of an infatuation like no other.

We grew up together, Lisa and me. Though, I can’t recall the distance between us ever being any less than a few yards. She was never out of my sight, nevertheless. I could be in the middle of the court playing soda can football with my friends during recess and I would still literally freeze upon seeing her emergence from the canteen. Until gravity gets the best of me shortly after the soda can shoots right into my crotch, putting my manhood in jeopardy.

Lisa was the ‘it’ girl at school. The teachers liked her for her good grades and politeness. The girls fancied her as she was the nice, smart, friendly, outgoing girl who’s always active with the clubs. The guys, just as myself, adored her for the sweet smile that has always complimented the bewildering mystery of her oh so beautiful eyes. Though she wore pinafore for most of the week, I enjoyed seeing her (from afar) the most on Fridays, as she’ll be in her baju kurung. And words couldn’t do justice in describing her mesmerizing, wavy ponytail.

Who was I, though, to even dream of ever going out with her? As I could only look from the end of the corridors, seniors flocking around her, doing all they could to impress the school’s heartthrob. The jocks of the Malaysian schools are no different from the ones anywhere else around the world. Teachers love them, they hold positions in the clubs, they represent the school in sports. I was basically nowhere near these guys.

I ended up spending the next few years writhing in agony everytime I see Lisa walking alongside different guys. Be it the school compound, the lake, the mall... I saw her walking with guys all the time; at times, hand in hand. And every occurrence hurts me down to the veins. Suffice to say, if it wasn’t for my good friend Ajis, I could’ve been the first student to ever die from shoving a handful of litmus paper down his own throat.

The times, they are a-changing. Those were the days. We’re in our first year of college now and I was lucky enough to be accepted to the same college as Lisa; doing the same course. I’ve somehow warmed myself up to her, if you will. For we are now good, if not the closest of friends.

Today is the acid test for me. It’s make or break now. I’ve been planning for this day for the past two months now. Calling restaurants, e-mailing people, making reservations, checking menus, confirming attendances, preparing maps, distributing directions, answering calls, taking RSVPs, cancelling RSVPs, checking the weather... all in the spirit of making it the best birthday bash ever for Lisa, the love of my life. Perhaps all that I’ve done to make it ‘the’ party for her would soon pay off.

Hurrying back into the restaurant, sliding my phone into my jeans, I tried to catch some breath and mended my hair; gotta look sleek for Lisa tonight. I could see glimpses of the attendees arriving from the mirror. The ladies hugging each other, exchanging kisses on the cheek as their boyfriends calmingly stood there snickering away. Could I care less about them? Doubtlessly.

I scanned through the crowd. Familiar faces, new faces... none of them even close to Lisa’s, the one that could bloom a hill full of Marigolds just like a Sunday morning sun. My head was everywhere as I shook hands with everyone, not getting any of their names right. One curious glance after another, time stood still all of a sudden.

There she was, I could already see from a distance (as I always did back in school). Clad in her favorite white blouse paired with her stylish denim pants; my eyes could never quit indulging into Lisa’s elegance while maintaining her simplicity. Parts of her hair was covering her forehead. Will there ever be a day for me to slide my hands in between your gorgeous hair, love?

I made my way straight to her direction. Who better to welcome her into this celebration of her life’s anniversary than the man who had worked so hard to make everything happen. And I barged through the bodies blocking my way, drawing the biggest smile on my face. Anxiety was in the driver’s seat, my heart was beating faster by the second, accelerating my way towards her with one hand in my pocket and the other on my forehead, trying look cool despite my fingers blocking my view.

Before I moved my hands entirely for everything to become visible and witnessed a sight that could forever banish the enormous hope that I’ve built all these while. Strong in the grasp of Lisa’s hand... was the hand, of a man. The horrid memories of my schooling days started to haunt me right away. Yet again, I froze.

"Hey Kudin, you’re here too! Sorry I’m a bit late. Traffic was really terrib..HEYYY GIRLS! Come baby I want you to meet the girls. Okay Kudin, catcha later!"

I could hear them cheerfully greeting each other from an audible distance. Sounds of "Oh, I’ve heard a lot about you!" and "So you’re the ‘hunk’ Lisa’s been talking about eh?" made their way into my ears. Even the poke of a flaming skewer would’ve been less painful. I did not dare look back.

"Excuse me sir, Mister... Sudin, right? Can I have you sign the bill here for some deposit before we start off with the event?" said a waiter as he stood beside me with a huge smile; my own smile, faded away seconds ago.

My hand was shaking as I signed the bill and passed it back to him.

"Alrightythen Mister Kudin! We shall proceed with Ms. Lisa’s Birthday Bash now! All excited about your girlfriend’s birthday party now sir?! Surely you’ve done quite a lot here?!"

"My... name... is... SudiiiIIIINNNNN HIYAAAARRKKKHHHHH!!!!!!"


"Hang on now... let me get this straight. You organized this birthday party for this girl you’ve been crazy for ages. Did the planning for two months. Got it all sorted. She came with some guy, got your name wrong. Before you assaulted a Steak Shack employee for getting your name wrong as well... and got yourself arrested, ending up here in the lock-up with us?"

"Yeah, that’s pretty much it."

"Well, buddy, I gotta say... that’s some pretty messed up shit right there."

"You think so? Wait ‘til her next birthday."


based on a true story yang? ahem ahem.

Why soo sedih yet funny?


you're impressively funny yet suka sangat berdrama tragic ni..

maybe the drama adds to the funniness?

It Hurts Me Too

You said you was hurting, almost lost your mind,
And the man you love, he hurts you all the time.
When things go wrong, go wrong with you, it hurts me, too.

You love him more when you should love him less.
I pick up behind him and take his mess.
When things go wrong, go wrong with you, it hurts me, too.

He love another woman and I love you,
But you love him and stick to him like glue.
When things go wrong, go wrong with you, it hurts me, too.

Now you better leave him; he better put you down.
Oh, I wont stand to see you pushed around.
When things go wrong, go wrong with you, it hurts me, too.

Hanna: Yeap, all true... just as I've always felt about you. :-\

PS: Because, again, it's the truth bro. Haha...

Syu: I could only blame it on loneliness. You ada tengok Love Guru, though? D.R.A.M.A. :-)

Note: Sudin is a fictional embodiment of the different kinds of frustration apparent among men, I mean, guys, crumpled into one, in the form of worthless short stories like this.

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Photography by Azalia Suhaimi

  • Asrif, b. 1983
  • Subang Jaya, Malaysia
  • asrifomar[@]gmail[.]com
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