What crisis?
October 01, 2009



I've always been ambitious. Even as a child, I would never settle for anything less than the best. I went to the under-10 tryouts despite being three years younger. I attempted to save up for a Nikko Ferrari Enzo, only the hottest remote control car at the time; costing no less than a kidney. And in my effort to win the heart of the most beautiful girl at our playground, I wrote perhaps one of the most compelling poems in history.

None of the goals ever surprisingly materialized. The handwritten poem was found nicely crumpled in a gutter. Yet, just as well, none of them ever bogged me down either. I've been quite resilient to failures and believe me, there have been one too many. Maybe I'm a firm believer in the 'things that don't kill you making you stronger' philosophy. Or maybe I'm excessively human that I can somehow accept mistakes as a work of nature. More probably though... I just got used to blunders.

Recently, however, a string of thoughts have led to the notion of putting both my ambition and resilience to the test. There seems to be this bombardment of ideas suddenly surging out of my brain. A host of things that I suddenly want to get myself involved in. A strong urge to push myself to the limit. A sudden expansion on the list of things that I plan to do in life; which previously only had '1. Judge Miss Universe' on it.

I wanted to accomplish things by the age of 30: release a record, get a book published, write a screenplay. I wanted to cover South East Asia by the end of 2009 and the Oceania in the coming year. I wanted to run four days a week with a round of football at the end of it. I wanted to surpass the number of dates I was out on in the past year (0.5, she left half-way, a call came in, her cat died, for the second time... nope, same cat).

All of which, were parts of a phase, I initially thought. Until a good friend of mine mentioned the rather dreaded 3-word term, 'quarter-life crisis'.

A possible conclusion that I won't discount. While I could painstakingly describe the term as 'a crisis that you face when you reach quarter-life', QuarterLifeCrisis.com -- yes, it exists -- defines it as 'a period of anxiety, uncertainty and inner turmoil that often accompanies the transition to adulthood'; which only makes as much sense as a straight member of the Village People in my book.

Why call it a crisis though? If that is what I'm actually going through. A crisis is a disaster, a catastrophe, an emergency, a calamity, a predicament and everything else that is ever represented by Lady Gaga. Wanting to do a bunch of things all of sudden, unless it involves terrorism, is nowhere near a crisis. It sparks questions, true. But it's not too bad, at all. In fact, I'll go as far as to saying that it is to be embraced.

At 26, and three years into my career as an analyst in the chemical industry (yawn), I believe the phenomenon is largely due to the stagnant state of my life. I drive for an hour to the office in the morning, spend eight hours in my cubicle, spend another hour on the road cursing at other drivers, head on to the treadmill in the evening then maybe work on some music or waste my precious time on the Internet (i.e. sites like this blog) before I hit the sack, five days a week. If it weren't for the weekends, I'll only be as human as Robocop. And nobody can bear doing the same thing for the next 30 years now, would they? Venturing into new domains seems all too fitting then if it keeps you alive.

Considering the majority of the readers on here are my peers, probably some of you out there are going through the same thing. And to you, my friends, in the words of one of the largest sportswear conglomerate in the world to the disgust of hippies everywhere, I say just do it.

In addition, I believe we could all agree as well, that if there's any crisis it out there at all, it's in the form of the oddball that is Lady Gaga.



Comments:

woi... gambar marah tu.. masa tu baru 3-3.. mana gambar masa owen score...
 

hahaha.. I had mine (the quarter life crisis as you called it) 4 months ago. I quit my job and been bumming around ever since.
To tell you the truth.. I dont feel as liberated as I was 4 months ago. Of course, I went off to Japan for awhile and got myself broke for two months, and then... that's it. Life goes back to normal. I'm back feeling stuck and restless.

Life is a circle. *sigh*
 

betullah... im going the same phase as u.. hmmmm
 

Pipi: Owen? Score? Mano ado...

GTJ: Possibly... as much as it could be a 'heat of the moment' thing, surely there'll be a story to tell upon it. Nonetheless I reckon it boils back down to being human. We're just never happy.

Silent: Embrace it. :-)
 

did u get brainwashed by Hasnor on Quarter life?
 

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Photography by Azalia Suhaimi

About
  • Asrif, b. 1983
  • Subang Jaya, Malaysia
  • asrifomar[@]gmail[.]com
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