Nice Pants
January 15, 2010



Tell me. How do you guys do it?

It’s 905am at the office. You need your early morning coffee to kick-start the day and waste more time before you start doing actual work. So you walk out of your cube and off to the pantry you go. You say "Good morning" and "Hello" and "In your face glory hunting Man United rag" to the cubes leading you to the coffee maker.

On the corridor, you meet people walking by, holding their mugs or newspapers or gym bags or kids... for the maid, had run away, again, last night. And you say pretty much the same things to them: "Morning" and "Hey" and "Nice pants" and "In your face glory hunting Man United rag" (to the kid).

You brew your caffeine and walk back to your cube, happily. Except for the minor burns suffered from walking with a full mug of blistering hot coffee. All in all, though, it’s all good.

It’s 1034am. You have yet to open any office e-mails. As the harvesting of your pumpkin crop circles on FarmVille, takes precedence over the company’s tanker stranded in the Pacific Ocean. Above all else, however, is the urge to take a restroom trip that suddenly creeps in; after all that coffee.

And you walk, out of your cube, into the corridor, where, from a distance, you see Jim, your colleague, whom, this morning, you’ve greeted, and enjoyed a small talk about sports rims. You don’t usually talk much with Jim; just as you are with everyone else at the office. Well, you do talk to them. But you’re not blessed with the eloquence of Perez Hilton. In other words, you can’t simply bump into them and talk about the Kardashians.

Not that anyone cares.

So you walk toward each other -- you and Jim, not Perez (as much as you want to) -- and you’re both torn. Do you guys look up and smile to each other? For a good few seconds before you’re both on the same latitude and longitude. But what kind of smile would it be?

A huge glee supposedly directed at the same humorous subject matter (e.g. the grunts in the men’s room this morning)? A tiny snicker? But all that would do is create an awkward, empty space within the time continuum of your journey to the loo. One that would flirt with your masculinity as you’re forced to look into each other’s eyes. Or, do you guys just walk, and look at the floor as you throw glances at the nothingness of your sides? Until you’re both within inches and throw a cool "Ssup?" his way, vice versa.

Newspapers would usually, ideally come in handy for me. I personally find it helpful. For when a figure is in sight, as I walk through the passage of the corridor, my fingers would swiftly flick on to a page as I stare at it with a convincingly concerned face. Waiving the need to greet. Full of vigor, as if engrossed with the unintentionally selected ‘Dazzling Night Gowns’ article.

Alas, that’s just how I do it. Maybe you can share then, your office corridor stories. College corridor ones work just as well.

Looking forward to your responses, I’ll be heading to the copier room now. Not without today's newspaper.



Comments:

when i am just lazy/ dont know how to greet the others, i always pretend to check and play my handphone while walking. or pretend as if i am looking for something in my bag. :P
 

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Hi! Been reading your entries and you're good! =)
Im very impressed with the way you write.

Anyways,i have to go through that every single day. All i do is smile.But if i cant be bothered,i'll just look infront and pretend that im in a hurry. So i'll brisk walk.lol.
 

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Photography by Azalia Suhaimi

About
  • Asrif, b. 1983
  • Subang Jaya, Malaysia
  • asrifomar[@]gmail[.]com
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