Typical City 2.0
September 19, 2012

Photo: MCFC.co.uk

That’s right, fans of Manchester City Football Club, it’s official. Our “Typical City” curse has been upgraded a notch. Unlike the new iPhone, however, this update is a massive one. If yesterday Typical City meant losing a game to a goal scored by a balloon (Sheffield United away, FA Cup 2008 -- the balloon was ours), today, it’s a matter of Cristiano Ronaldo scoring a last minute winner in front of a packed Santiago Bernabeu after trailing the visitors twice in the last 20 minutes of the game.

Sure it's a spectacle for the neutrals. Would I take it, though? Hell no.

Fair enough, Real Madrid thoroughly deserved the win after a convincing first half saw them missing out on a few chances and Iker Casillas touching the ball only once; thrown to him by the ball-boy. Heck I’d rather Madrid put the game to bed at the break so that I could go back to bed and get an extra 45-minute sleep. But to lose the game the way we did?

Who am I kidding anyway. It’s City we’re talking about here. If Steve Carell and Ben Stiller had a love child in the form of a football club, it would be ours. All these years, we have been supporting the ultimate institution of anti-heroism.

Have we learned anything from it? I think not.

Have the players learned anything from all those time we’ve conceded an entire three point in the league thanks to defensive mishaps? Of drifting away and losing focus immediately after the hopes of the thousands around the world are lifted by a Dzeko header or Kolarov thunderbolt coming out of nowhere. That little bit of light at the end of the tunnel too often shun by a split-second error erasing the dreams of loyal blues everywhere.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. It’s as if they do it on purpose.

But what fun is watching football without these heartbreaks and minor cardiac arrests? Being a City fan is about committing oneself to a non-refundable emotional rollercoaster ride. Our honorable Chairman Khaldoon Al Mubarak once said that the title win last season has simultaneously thrown the Typical City tag out of the window. If I may, sir, the spell is well intact, only in a different form.

City went to Madrid at the best of times. Ronaldo sulking after scoring a brace recently is still fresh in our minds, and with the club’s current form in the league dwindling them to twelfth place, Jose Mourinho had enough reasons to say what he said a few days back, “I don’t have a team.”

When Brylcreem Boy slotted in that abrupt winner and threw himself to the ground with a gratifying trademark smile, however, an overjoyed Mourinho sliding a good three feet summed the night to the despair of my shattered spirit.

In hindsight, that was the only positive I could garner from the game. The Special One’s gonna have a hard time removing the grass stain from his suit.


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Photography by Azalia Suhaimi

  • Asrif, b. 1983
  • Subang Jaya, Malaysia
  • asrifomar[@]gmail[.]com
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